Trial plus Error equals Love
by Dolphingirl32173
Summary: After the latest trials have been dealt with, the gang, seeing both Elena and Damon are miserable, take it upon themselves to play matchmaker... but things rarely go as planned. Damon/Elena
1. Plotting

Trial + Error = Love  
DG32173

Sarah: here's one of my rare attempts at a romantic fanfic meant to make my readers laugh like maniacs over the antics I have the cast pull off. I hope I earn plenty of laughs, and hopefully plenty of reviews, for my efforts. Enjoy.

_**DISCLAIMER**_  
I _hate_ doing this thing. But it's required. Thankfully, I'm only required to do it once per story. This will be the only one you see in this fanfic. If I own it, I will claim it before the chapter it appears in. If there is credit due to someone for suggesting a scene that I use, I will also give it before the chapter the scene appears in. If I don't claim something nor give credit for it to someone beforehand, it is safe to assume neither I nor anyone else owns it and it is free for the taking without need of asking permission. And that goes doubly true for TVD, the cast, Mystic Falls, and the settings. There is the damn disclaimer I am required to write at least once per story. Don't expect another one because there _won't_ be any more.

_**WARNINGS**_  
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE! Alters from show's storyline in the episode "Masquerade" in Season 2. There will be no appearance of Rose, Trevor, Andie, or the Originals. This story is rated T because I don't expect to include any of the sexual scenes that play out frequently in most of my other stories. But if such a scene _should_ appear, the rating will be upped to correspond with it. Just be prepared for a _lot_ of laughs to come. I clearly marked this story as Humor/Romance and with good reason.

_**SUMMARY**_  
After the latest trials have been dealt with, the gang, seeing both Elena and Damon are miserable, take it upon themselves to play matchmaker... but things rarely go as planned. _**Damon/Elena**_

* * *

Chapter 1  
Plotting

Elena

Elena cringes as she closes her journal and sets it on her nightstand. After the events of tonight had played out, Jeremy had confessed just how damn close he had come to arriving too late to tell Damon and Stefan that in injuring Katherine, they were also inadvertently hurting Elena. She shudders. He had said that if he had been even a few seconds slower, Damon would have rammed a stake through Katherine's heart, not realizing until too late that in doing so, he had not only killed Katherine but had killed Elena as well. She turns off her lamp and curls up under her covers. Had she not realized that her friends were planning to take down Katherine tonight and snuck away from Alaric's supervision, she'd be dead right now and the others would have no idea _why._

Elena viciously shoves her morbid thoughts away. She _had_ snuck away from the house to go confront her friends. Bonnie _had_ realized what was going on. Jeremy _had_ made it in time to stop the brothers from killing Katherine and subsequently killing her as well. That Katherine had proceeded to use that hitch in her plans to cause further injuries to herself and thus to Elena is besides the point because Bonnie _had_ managed to track down Katherine's witch and somehow convince her to help stop Katherine.

Even as she reminds herself of all this, Elena can feel the tears start slipping down her cheeks. At least she had managed to avoid Jenna when she had gotten home. There was no _way_ she could possibly have come up with an explanation for her injuries that would not have caused her aunt to panic. But now those injuries are hidden under gauze and ace bandages under her shirt. There are smaller bandages over the scratches Katherine had inflicted on her through the spell binding the two of them. Elena can easily tell her aunt the truth about those more visible bandages: she had gotten scratched when she went out tonight.

Elena forces herself to shove those thoughts away as well and even refuses to contemplate asking any of her vampire friends for some blood to make her wounds heal faster. Even so, her tears continue to fall though she firmly keeps her sobs in check. So much has happened in the past several months, particularly so since Katherine returned to the brothers' lives. Even now, she still gets nightmares about the night Damon snapped Jeremy's neck out of a combination of pain and anger. But now that she has an idea of _why_ he had done so, though not having all the _details,_ she can't find it in herself to hate him for what he did. If her hunch is right and Katherine _had_ screwed with his mind at some point prior to Elena's desperate attempt to avoid talking about her feelings for the blue-eyed Salvatore, well, then, the blame for that traumatizing event lays more so on that bitch than on Damon.

But, as she has done every night since then, she cries herself to sleep as her tumultuous thoughts swirl in never-ending circles in her head.

Damon and Stefan

Damon lets out a snarl of fury as he hurls his half-empty glass of bourbon into the fireplace in the foyer of the boarding house. The flames roar up as the alcohol splatters on the burning logs. If Jeremy had been just a few seconds slower in arriving to tell him and Stefan about Katherine's contingency plan, Elena would be _dead!_ And it would have been his own hands that, by way of the spell linking the two doppelgangers together, would have dealt the deathblow!

Stefan wisely keeps his thoughts to himself in the background. He had spent an hour trying to calm his older brother down by reminding Damon that Jeremy _had_ arrived in time to save the girl they all loved. But each time, Damon had chewed him out. Damon is in no mood to be reasoned with right now, so Stefan had finally given up and got lost in his own thoughts. He went into tonight thinking that getting Katherine out of the picture would allow him to get back together with Elena. But the human had made it perfectly clear that won't be happening anytime soon, if ever.

He had been so _sure_ that Elena had officially broken up with him simply because Katherine had made it too dangerous for her family for them to be together. But even with Katherine safely sealed away in the tomb she _should_ have been in since 1864; Elena still refuses to get back together with him. And he knows that while the reasons she had given him had surely been valid and true, he also knows that there have to be other reasons she was holding back. And, unfortunately, he is certain that her powerful bond with Damon – which he had _never_ understood and doubts he ever will – plays a major part in why she will not allow him to return to the status of her boyfriend.

There is no denying that bond between Damon and Elena is very real. Stefan had sensed it even on that day he had found her talking to his brother after she had come to the boarding house the first time in order to return the book he had loaned her. And, despite his many futile attempts to nip it in the bud, that bond has grown stronger with every passing day and he is sure that whatever it is heading for will soon come to pass as it reaches full bloom. And, unfortunately, he now knows that Damon truly loves Elena more than anything or anyone in the world, including his own brother. Damon would not have been so full of grief and fear upon finding out that the times he had been ramming a stake into Katherine, he had inadvertently been ramming that same stake into Elena by way of magic if he did not love the human so much that Stefan now realizes, not only eclipses, but in fact makes Stefan's own love for Elena be comparable to sheer hatred. Nor would he be so full of self-loathing and rage if he weren't running over the many ways tonight could have taken a tragic turn no one had expected were he not utterly devoted to Elena.

And, while Stefan wishes with all his heart he could deny it, Elena's own feelings for Damon, while still unknown to anyone but herself, appear to be just as strong. And he knows that that road trip to Georgia the two had shared had been the true turning point in their feelings for each other. He has never seen Elena as happy as she is just by the fact that Damon walks into the room she's in. And only a blind man would fail to notice that she only relaxes completely when she subconsciously senses Damon nearby. Even with Stefan, who had until recently been her boyfriend, she remains as tense as a rabbit that has spotted a hawk circling overhead.

Stefan can no longer deny that his brother and the human they both love share a powerful bond that he had never seen the likes of. A bond that is completely absent in his own relationship with Elena. And he also can't deny that Elena's reply to his "I love you" has become more and more automatic in recent weeks rather than having any real sentiment behind it.

And, while it hurts as much as if someone had staked him repeatedly, Stefan has to finally admit that he had been wrong in assuming that Damon had become irredeemable. Elena has busted her ass pulling the older Salvatore brother out of the dark shadows he had wrapped around himself, not once, but _twice!_ She had nearly succeeded when the opening of the tomb revealed that Katherine had never been in it and that Damon had wasted all those decades chasing a lie. Damon, in his pain over finding out just how much of a fool he had been, had tried to fall back into the shadows he had spent recent decades dwelling in. But Elena wouldn't have it. She not only _dragged_ him back out, but Stefan has a hunch that she had somehow broken Damon's humanity switch in the process, leaving it permanently in the "on" position. Stefan is certain that even now, Damon is unsure whether to be grateful for that or pissed that she would do so only to attempt to turn a blind eye to his love for her. And unlike Damon, who is most likely sure that she is succeeding in such an attempt, Stefan can see that Elena _is_ affected by the fact that Damon has become utterly devoted to her, even if she only knows that he is on an instinctive level.

Stefan frowns. As much as he hates to admit it even to himself, he has to admit that perhaps Damon and Elena might actually make a better couple than he and Elena had. After all, Stefan had tried repeatedly, and futilely, to lie to Elena because he had thought he would be protecting her in doing so. Not only did it result in more fights than he cares to think about upon her discovery of his deception, but tonight now makes him realize just how dangerous lying to her could be. They had _all_ tried to trick her into staying home to take care of Jenna so that she wouldn't have gotten caught up in tonight's events. But, had she _actually_ done so, she'd be dead right now and none of them would have ever known _why_ she had died looking as if she had been staked repeatedly. Damon had protested keeping her in the dark. He has _never_ before outright lied to Elena's face. But Damon had been overruled by the rest of them because they had assumed the "small" lie would have protected her. But now they all know the error of that assumption.

Stefan sighs. Having admitted that Damon and Elena could very well be a better match than he and Elena had been, he now realizes he has to do something to get them to at least _try_ dating each other and seeing how it works out. But both his brother and his ex are as hard-headed and stubborn as mules. And he could never be able to pull this off alone. Even _he_ knows that his attempts would be much too obvious. So he's going to need backup and help in plotting to get the two together. Not to mention he's going to have to convince the others that this is the right course of action, as much as even _he_ doesn't like the thought of Damon and Elena getting together. Finally, Stefan tells himself that in the case the two _don't_ work out as a couple, _everyone_ will know that they were never meant to be more than the closest of friends.

He glances at Damon, studying his brother minutely. Upon satisfying himself that Damon wouldn't try something stupid over this, he rises to his feet and slips out of the boarding house. Even if Damon _does_ notice that his little brother had left him, the blue-eyed vampire would be grateful for being left alone to vent his tumultuous emotions over tonight in private. Not that he would ever admit to it. Not to Stefan, at least.

Stefan takes off through the woods on foot. By the time he reaches his destination, he has a vague plan on how he'll convince the others to cooperate with his attempts to get Damon and Elena together. He slows down as he approaches The Grill. He whips out his cell phone and starts calling his friends one at a time, telling them to meet him there and that he has something he needs to discuss with them.

It takes nearly an hour for all of them to slip out of their homes undetected and make it to The Grill. By that time, there are very few patrons in the bar to overhear their discussion. As they all gather around one of the very few tables large enough for a group their size, Stefan notes that all of them are showing signs, with various degrees of obviousness, that tonight's near-miss has wreaked just as much havoc on them as it has on he and his brother.

It takes nearly half an hour to explain his plan and convince even the most reluctant of them that it's worth at least trying, if only by arguing that if Damon and Elena _don't_ work out as a couple, everyone will finally be certain that those two were never intended to be more than very good friends. Once they are all finally on the same page, they set about concocting plan after plan of how they will attempt to make the two realize their feelings for each other _without_ getting caught, dissecting all the ways the plans could go wrong, and discarding the ones that are too risky. By the time they are all kicked out at closing time, they have agreed on five different ways they will attempt, one at a time, to get Damon and Elena together.


	2. Wet T-Shirts

Trial + Error = Love  
DG32173

Sarah: and I'm back with chapter 2! This is gonna be fun. And, though the gang came up with just five different plans to attempt to get Damon and Elena together, there will be a lot more hilarity than just that. I hope everyone enjoys what I have in store for you. I'd be most appreciative if you reviewed with your opinion and maybe even offered a vague outline of a hilariously ill-fated plot you want to see the crew come up with. Also, for those who are wondering about my other fanfics, I _do_ intend on finishing my other TVD fanfics as the muse inspires me, but right now I'm in the mood for writing a bit of comedic action. I'm also working simultaneously on this one and When Things Change, so don't worry about slow updates on that one in favor of this one.

_**REVIEW REPLIES**_

_Xxpercabethdelena1DxX:_ dear lord, you have a long screen name! And I'm not sure I even got it right! Anyways, as I said above, I actually _do_ plan on updating _all_ my TVD fanfics as the muse hits me. But, unfortunately, my muse is being quite uncooperative in regards to what I _need_ to work on and what _she_ wants me to write. And since you mentioned that you particularly enjoyed _Playing Cupid,_ you should know that magical shenanigans will appear in this fanfic as well, though not _nearly_ so successfully. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy.

_JMHUW:_ by Winchester brothers, are you referring to the _Supernatural_ TV series? I've seen the first episode but I've been intending to watch the others. And in the case that you _are_ referring to those two, I have to agree with you. Stefan being so sensible when it comes to what Elena deserves is cause for suspicion of some sort of supernatural interference in the situation. But I'm not going to take that route with Stefan's motives. Here's the next chapter. I hope you enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 2  
Wet T-Shirts

Elena groans as Caroline explains what, exactly, the blonde had signed them both up for _without_ asking Elena's permission. "Seriously, Caroline, didn't you think to even _ask_ me?" she asks plaintively.

"Well, no. But, I mean, you and Stefan are on the quits," Caroline says. "And you made it clear that you're not going to go back to him. So, I figured you need something to get your mind off recent events. The Elena I knew before last May would have been jumping for joy over this," she points out sullenly. "Aren't you even a _little_ tired of lugging around all that grief and guilt after all these months? I mean, no matter _how_ guilty you feel about something, you can't change the past. Look at Stefan, for crying out loud! All those brood-lines are a sure sign that he's carrying around a _lot_ of guilt! And not even _he_ can change what's happened in his past. Do _you_ want to end up with brood-lines like _that_ for the rest of your life?"

"Well, no," Elena says slowly.

"Then you got to start living again! I mean, I know we all have this unvoiced agreement not to bring up what happened that night. But, seriously Elena, how are your parents _ever_ going to rest in peace if you're always feeling guilty over what happened? Or, at least, as much peace as they'd be in considering the crowd you hang around this days," Caroline points out. "Unless you want to end up as broody as Stefan, you need to let it go. Besides, even if you _hadn't_ gone to the party that night, where would that put you now? You'd probably still be making yourself miserable at Matt's side. And don't look so shocked. Even _I_ could see that you were craving to find someone who could give you something Matt just wasn't capable of. And, apparently, you couldn't find whatever it is you are looking for in Stefan either. So, now that you're single, you have a wide array of options. And participating in a wet t-shirt contest just _might_ get the attention of a bad boy. I mean, after all, you _tried_ dating two guys who fall in the 'good guy' category and it's now obvious that you were miserable about it. Sure, for a while there, it looked like Stefan might have had whatever it was you were looking for. But Fun Elena never came back completely from her hidey hole. So, I'm determined to drag her out by the ear if I have to. And I plan to start on it with a wet t-shirt contest." She gulps. "I mean, after all, Matt made it clear that he wasn't willing to risk our friendship by trying to date me because he had played it all out in his head and decided that it wasn't worth it. So I'm going to make it perfectly clear to him what he's missing out on. And, really, I need some actual competition in this contest."

"Caroline, if that's what you're after, I don't know if it's a good idea for me to be in it," Elena protests.

"Nonsense! If Matt's still stuck on you after all this time when you've made it perfectly clear that you're not returning to him, then I need to find someone new myself," Caroline retorts. "Besides, it's too late to back out. The bonfire the contest will take place during is tomorrow night. I'm not taking 'no' for an answer, Elena!"

Elena sighs, knowing that when Caroline says _that,_ she'll do whatever she has to in order to get her way. "Fine. I better not regret this," she warns her friend.

"I can promise that you won't. You need to start living again. And if that means I have to force you into doing so, so help me God, because I _will_ do whatever it takes," Caroline says forcefully. "So, you better pick out a nice bra for tomorrow night and accept that I'm not going to let you back out!"

Elena sighs and resigns herself to go along with whatever her childhood friend has planned. She just sends up a silent prayer that Damon won't be in the crowd. It's bad enough that she's been shanghaied into this. She'd probably die from embarrassment if _he_ is there to see her in a soaking wet white t-shirt that will leave nothing to the imagination of what's underneath it.

Boarding house at that moment

Damon frowns as Jeremy does his damnedest to convince him to go to the bonfire tomorrow night. "Now, tell me again _why_ I should agree to this?" he asks coolly. In the weeks since he had snapped the kid's neck, they have somehow developed an interesting bond of brotherhood that is based on something far deeper than mere blood relationship.

"One, Elena's going to be there and we have no idea if she's actually safe even with Katherine trapped in that tomb," Jeremy begins. "After all, that bitch had to have _some_ reason behind her games with Elena. And you and I both know you're by far the strongest of us and the best able to protect her. And, as if that isn't incentive enough," he adds, though they both know that it's more than enough incentive to get Damon to go, "there's going to be a wet t-shirt contest at the bonfire. Though no one knows you as well as my sister does, even _I_ know that you're the kind of guy to jump for a chance to see girls submitting themselves to such a thing."

Damon sighs. To be honest, he could care less about the contestants of the contest. Though, he amends, if _Elena_ happened to be one of the contestants, well, that would be an entirely different matter. But he knows she would never willing submit to such humiliation unless someone went so low as to blackmail her into it. After the close call they had just had a few days ago, none of her friends would be willing to blackmail her into something as ridiculous as a wet t-shirt contest. Not without a damn good reason for doing so, though he really can't think of _any_ reason that would be good enough.

But the mere thought that she might still be in danger even with Katherine locked up is more than enough to get him to agree to go. "Fine, but let me make it perfectly clear that I'm _only_ going to keep Elena safe," he tells the kid.

The oddly triumphant gleam in Jeremy's eyes warns Damon that the kid is up to something more than merely getting Elena's best defender to keep an eye on her at the party. But, for the life of him, he can't think of any possible reason behind that gleam. But he had already given his word. And if nothing else, Damon is a man of his word and would strive to keep it at any cost to himself.

Bonfire party the following evening

Damon sighs as he scans the crowd for any sign of Elena. "You said she'll be here," he growls to the kid standing next to him.

"And she is. Caroline picked her up a little before you showed up at our house," Jeremy replies. "Elena was complaining the entire time about coming, but you know how Caroline gets when she makes up her mind to do something."

Damon grimaces. When the blonde vampiress makes up her mind to do something, she'll get it done come Hell or high water. Well, since Caroline had decided that Elena will come here, then Elena is definitely in the crowd somewhere. He'll just have to look harder. He returns to scanning the crowd of high school kids milling about the large clearing.

"Oh! Looks like they're about to start the contest," Jeremy comments, craning his head to the stage that had been set up so that everyone in the crowd will be able to see the contestants clearly. For something that had been set up over the course of just a couple hours with every intention of dismantling it after the party, the thing appears to be surprisingly sturdy.

"Uh-huh," Damon says, not even looking at the stage as the contestants file onto it. He's still trying to locate Elena in the crowd.

Unfortunately, the crowd surges forward to stand at the foot of the stage, carrying him and the kid with it. He can't fight to stay where he had been standing because he could end up hurting one of these kids in doing so. And, dammit all, Elena has worked some spell on him that makes him actually _care_ if an innocent bystander got hurt by his actions. So he has to allow the crowd to carry him forward in its surge to get prime spots for viewing the contestants. Even so, he still doesn't turn an eye to the stage.

Not until the _names_ of the contestants are announced. The very last one called is the name of the very girl he's been trying to spot. He snaps his eyes to the stage and his jaw drops at seeing that she is indeed standing up there with the other girls dressed in a white t-shirt, looking decidedly uncomfortable with her position.

In the split second before the water is dumped on all the girls at the same time, something makes Elena turn her head towards him. Her expression clearly shows the exact thought going through her head: _'Oh, shit.'_ Damon decides that the evening has taken an unexpected turn for the better.

Just a few minutes before with the contestants

Elena sighs, tugging nervously at the white t-shirt she's wearing. "I can't believe you talked me into this," she grouses at Caroline, peering around the make-shift curtain that is hiding the contestants of the wet t-shirt contest from the crowd. She doesn't immediately see any of her other friends, but that doesn't mean anything. Considering the size of the crowd, _all_ of them could be scattered among the throng of people and she would never know it until it's too late. She sends up the umpteenth silent prayer that Damon isn't here that she has made since Caroline made it perfectly clear that Elena _will_ be one of the wet t-shirt contestants this evening, whether the brunette wanted it or not.

"Well, you _can't_ back out now," Caroline points out logically.

Elena grimaces because the blonde vampiress is speaking with utmost honesty this time. It's _much_ too late to back out. She fidgets uncomfortably as the group in charge of running the contest lets the anticipation build in the crowd until it reaches the boiling point.

"Elena, remember, you said you would _try_ to bring back Fun Elena," Caroline says sharply. "You gave me your word that you would try to return at least partially to the girl who loved to party and have fun that you locked away last May."

Elena sighs. "I did," she concedes. She taps the shoulder of one of the guys making sure the contestants aren't left out on the refreshments in their confinement behind the curtain. He glances at her. "Grab me a beer," she tells him.

"Me too," Caroline pipes up.

He chuckles and moves off to fulfill her request. Though pretty much everyone here is underage, that's the beauty of a party comprised almost entirely of teenagers: there is _bound_ to be a variety of cheap booze stashed in various places around the clearing the party is being held in. Within minutes, the guy returns with their beers. Both girls are pleased to see the buds of moisture dripping down the glass bottles. They are even more pleased when their first swallows prove that the beers had been kept in a cooler full of ice, water, and just a dash of salt to make the temperature drop even further.

By the time the girls have finished their beers, Elena has just enough alcohol in her system to let her wilder side slip free of the confinement she had put it in last May. She begins to actually look forward to what is coming. That excitement lasts up until she's on stage and she catches sight of a familiar face out of the corner of her eyes. She turns her head and realizes with a jolt of panic that her worst fear has come true: Damon Salvatore is staring at her standing on stage with the other wet t-shirt contestants with so much shock that his jaw unhinges slightly.

"Oh, shit,' she thinks just before the cold water is poured over her head at the same time the other contestants get soaked. She sputters and gasps as the chill, though she should have expected it, in all honesty. Every other wet t-shirt contest she had been in had water just as cold if not colder. The crowd cheers and Elena's eyes clear just in time to make out Damon's highly amused expression as he openly runs his eyes over her body from her neck down. The announcer quickly manages to get the crowd to fall silent again before asking for its opinion of each girl one at a time by holding up her hand. Caroline, standing next to her, causes the crowd to go wild. But when Elena's hand is raised, the whole crowd goes berserk. Even _Damon_ voices his thoughts on the matter. If it weren't for the fact that the cold dampness is pulling the color right out of Elena, she would be blushing crimson at the open appreciation in his eyes.

In the end, Elena is given the dubious honor of being crowned Queen of Wet T-Shirts. And unfortunately for her, she knows _exactly_ what is expected of the Queen. Silently promising herself that she will jab a wooden No.2 pencil in Caroline's arm for this, Elena proceeds to throw her shirt up to give the audience a good view of what had barely been concealed by it. The hoots, hollers, and cat-calls in response to the display last _long_ after the contestants file off stage.

And waiting with vivid impatience at the bottom of the steps leading up to the stage is none other than Damon. Elena gets the urge to bolt and the only reason she doesn't give in is because she knows he could give her a five minute head start and _still_ catch her before she got very far. Even now, even after her humiliating flash of her torso, Damon is eyeing her with open admiration and just a _hint_ of hunger. And she knows enough by now to recognize the hunger as sexual rather than that of a vampire in need of blood. She sighs and climbs down the stairs.

"You look cold," he greets.

"Freezing," she grumbles, shoving her wet hair out of her face. "I've forgotten that the guys who are in charge of the water used for this sort of thing must have taken the coolers from the freezer before bringing them here."

He arches an eyebrow. "You've done this before?" he asks, wickedly amused as he shrugs out of his jacket.

"Before …," she starts only to stop and grit her teeth. Finally, she sighs. "Before my parents died, I used to do things like this all the time, as Caroline has reminded me incessantly since she convinced me to participate."

Damon thinks about that as he wraps his designer leather jacket around her shoulders. He wraps an arm around her shoulders to guide her toward the bonfire. "Want anything to drink?" he asks after he situates her on one of the logs rolled near enough to the bonfire to serve as a seat without being so close that it is in danger of lighting on fire itself.

Elena grimaces. "The main drinks served at these parties are cheap alcohol. And while I'd _love_ to have another beer, I know that it is the _last_ thing I need if I want to warm up. And the other drinks run a high risk of having been spiked. So, thank you, but no," she replies, gripping Damon's jacket tightly around her as she huddles on the log, trying to soak up as much warmth from the flames in front of her as possible.

Damon nods his understanding and takes a seat next to her. He decides that he needs to make up for all the teasing he's missed out on by giving her time to recover from the near-miss they had gone through the other day. He casts a sidelong glance at her, a lecherous smirk on his lips. Elena catches his look from the corner of her eye and suppresses her groan. Apparently, he's decided that her reprieve from his merciless teasing is up. And now he's going to do his damnedest to make up for the missed opportunities. "So, tell me about that little stunt you pulled when you were crowned Queen of Wet T-Shirts," he says mercilessly.

This time Elena doesn't even _try_ to stop the groan that falls from her lips. "It's tradition," she replies, keeping her eyes firmly focused on the bonfire in front of her. "There's a wet t-shirt contest during a bonfire party about three times a year around here. And each time a girl is crowned Queen, she is expected to flash the crowd for the so-called honor. The girl gets to determine how _long_ she flashes the crowd, but it's a tradition that she does so. And you know the thing this town has about tradition. Up until tonight, it's been Caroline who was crowned Queen when we entered together. And I never entered unless she did too."

"And why did you even agree to enter tonight?" he asks, amusement lacing his words.

"As I said, Caroline's been reminding me that I can't hold onto grief and guilt over the crash that killed my parents. She kept complaining that I used to be more fun. She's determined to draw out 'Fun Elena' no matter what it takes. And after she pointed out that I'm going to end up as broody as your brother if I don't start learning to live again, I gave her my word that I would at least _try_ to be more fun in the sense she was referring to," Elena replies. "It takes a helluva lot to get me to take it back when I give my word to someone. She was determined to make tonight a start in that direction. And if this is just a start, I'm dreading what she will come up with next."

"Oh, I won't do anything that you wouldn't have enjoyed before last May," Caroline says s she takes a seat next to Elena.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Elena sighs. She notes that Caroline's also sporting a man's leather jacket. Closer inspection reveals that it's also a pricey designer jacket, so it _definitely_ doesn't belong to Matt. "Who's jacket is that?" Elena asks.

Caroline's cheeks turn pink. "Well, Tyler caught up to me and saw that I didn't have a jacket so he gave me his," she admits sheepishly. "I couldn't exactly protest that I would be fine without one without revealing everything."

"Better to keep it a secret," Damon says cryptically.

"Anyways, I actually came over to tell you guys that Tyler asked me to go shoot some pool with him at The Grill," Caroline says. "So, Elena, do you think you could find a ride home on your own? I mean, I could drop you off at your place then go to The Grill but that would involve a lot of backtracking."

"I'll take her home," Damon speaks up while giving Elena a look that tells her he won't tolerate any arguments.

Elena sighs. "I'll be okay with Damon," she assures her childhood friend. "You go have fun. Though, if Matt is working, wouldn't that send him mixed signals?"

Caroline shrugs. "Matt's here, somewhere. I saw him just before those guys doused us with water. The fact that he wasn't waiting for me when I got off stage is a pretty clear sign that either he's still sensitive about the way I laid into him over his audacity to come to the conclusion on his own that we wouldn't work out or he is still strung out over you. Either way, maybe seeing me leave with Tyler will make him realize that I won't sit around and waste away over him until he's gotten his act together. And, if not, I will still have fun kicking Tyler's ass in a game of pool. Maybe some higher power or other is trying to get me to realize that there are still plenty of guys out there who would be willing to be with me. If anything comes of tonight, well that's all good. And if not, I'm still not going to hold my breath over Matt."

"You go have fun with Tyler," Elena tells her friend. "If I see Matt and he asks about you, well, I'll tell him the truth: I saw you wearing Tyler's jacket and that you left early to go play pool with him."

"Thanks, Elena," Caroline says, wrapping her arm around Elena's shoulders for a quick hug before standing up. "Well, I'm gonna go. You two should enjoy the party. After all, it'll probably be the last one until spring comes."

With that, she makes over to where Tyler had been waiting at a respectful distance from them while Caroline had let Elena know about the change of plans. Elena watches closely as the young man she had always thought of as hot-headed gently wraps an arm around Caroline's shoulders and leads her into the trees in the direction of where everyone had parked their cars. At seeing such tenderness between the two, Elena is torn between a longing for being on the receiving end of such attention from a man interested in her and relief that at least Caroline's not going to pine over Matt like a lovesick fool.

She begins wondering what reaction Matt will have when he finds out that Caroline, who had clearly shown romantic interest in him, had been seen wearing his best friend's jacket and leaving the party with said best friend. Almost as if her thoughts had summoned him, Matt finds them. He pauses briefly at the sight of Elena wearing Damon's jacket with Damon's arm around her shoulders before shaking his head and finishes approaching. "Have either of you seen Caroline?" he asks hesitantly.

Damon opens his mouth with what is obviously going to be a wiseass comment when Elena jams her elbow into his ribs. He winces and takes the hint, closing his mouth on whatever comment he was about to make. But even Elena feels that Matt needs to realize that not even Caroline will wait around for him while he pines over Elena, who had made it perfectly clear that she will never return to him. "She just came to ask me if I could find another ride home," Elena tells him, deciding to draw it out.

"Why would she do that?" he asks, confused.

"Well, she was wearing Tyler's jacket, which he had generously given to her when he found her shivering in just her wet clothes," Elena says, adding just a bit of a lie. Matt winces at the not-so-subtle hint that Caroline had been left stranded and freezing after the contest was over. "She mentioned that Tyler had asked her to leave early with him to go shoot some pool at The Grill, so she came to make sure that I would be able to get home okay without her. Damon has generously offered to drive me home later. For now, I'm gonna try to warm up and dry off while I hang out with him," Elena tells him. "She mentioned that she _had_ been hoping to see you but she couldn't find you after the contest. My guess is when Tyler turned up to suggest going somewhere she can dry off in comfort and warmth, she couldn't refuse. Sorry, Matt. Maybe you can catch up to her tomorrow, if she doesn't make plans with Tyler tonight."

Even as she says it, Elena knows that last sentence was a cruel jab designed intentionally to make Matt realize that he just might have missed his opportunity with Caroline by insisting on pining away over his ex. And if he comes to the conclusion on his own that she and Damon are now an item, well, she just won't enlighten him to the fact that she and Damon are just really good friends. A little deception as harmless as this would be won't be so bad if it makes Matt finally accept the fact that Elena will never again view him as anything more than a childhood friend.

As if sensing her thoughts, Damon draws Elena closer to him while Elena lays her head on the vampire's shoulder. Matt grimaces at the image they make. "I should go," he says. "I do have work all day tomorrow, considering it's Saturday."

"Cya, Matt," Elena says, waving at his back as he hastily retreats into the crowd.

Damon chuckles. "You were more than a little cruel there, Miss Gilbert," he murmurs in her ear.

Elena sighs. "I know I was. But Matt needs to wake up and realize that he can't spend the rest of his life pining over me. There are very few women in this world that would put their heart on hold for a man who is as blatantly caught up in pining over another woman as he is pining over me," she replies. "And he needs to wake up and accept that I have moved on. I may be single right now, but that doesn't give him nor Stefan any right to hope that I might go back to either of them. I gave it my best shot when I entered a relationship with both of them. But Caroline made it clear to me that I'm obviously looking for something specific in my significant other, something neither of them has. I can't figure out just what it is I'm holding out for, but I know she's right. I'm looking for something special in a man, something no other man could give me. I'm sure I'll find it eventually, I just have to be patient."

Damon's silent as she speaks, his thoughts whirling a mile a minute in his head. "Do you have any idea of what some of the qualities you're looking for might be?" he asks after several minutes spent in companionable silence.

Elena closes her eyes and thinks about it, not moving from her relaxed position next to him with her head resting on his shoulder. "One of the main things I want in my significant other is that he knows just what to do to make me laugh when the world around me seems to be falling down. I want someone who will be completely honest with me. I'm not saying he has to give me the _whole_ truth every time. Even I understand that there are times when giving only part of the truth is a safer bet than laying it all on the line. But I don't ever want find myself with a man like your brother, who thinks outright lying to my face is acceptable. It's not. It just makes me wonder more and more often just how much I can trust that person. That's one reason why I refused to go back to Stefan after Katherine was captured. I am at the point where I'm analyzing every word that comes out of his mouth, wondering if he's lying to my face again. And it's not like I'll be able to tell he's lying right off the bat because he's just too good at it. I have no idea how many times he's lied to me without ever getting caught. Another thing I'm want in the man I'll spend my life with is that he takes the time to learn as much about me as he can find out, learning information about me that I don't outright give him myself. Stefan never bothered getting to know me any better than what he has seen since the night he saved me from drowning alongside my parents. That's not love and I can see that now. It's merely infatuation with some image of me he's put together in his head that isn't even remotely like who I really am. I want a man who can light up my world just by walking in the room. I want someone I can laugh and joke with, someone who I can have ferocious fights with and even if we both walk away with hurt pride as well as hurt feelings, I want to know in my heart that I can still depend on him to be there for me should I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to about anything." Damon's starting to recognize something pretty significant about the details she's describing but keeps his thoughts strictly to himself for a change. She may as well be describing her relationship with _him._ But if someone were to point that out to her, _particularly_ if that someone was him, she would get furious and turn her wrath on _him._ So, he's going to just keep his relationship with her the same and wait patiently for her to realize it on her own. After all, he's got time. As he thinks, he makes sure to keep his attention on her words as well. "I want someone who will be able to know even before I do when I'm close to the breaking point and will step in to either help me face my problems from a different angle where they don't appear so severe or at least whisk me away from them long enough for me to clear my head and then stand at my side, helping me face my problems once I am able to handle the task of doing so. All Stefan wanted was to hide me away from the problems of the world. I have a feeling that if he thought for even a second he could get by with locking me away in some reclusive tower, he would have done so in a heartbeat. And I couldn't make him understand that I am _not_ some fairytale princess who would be a-okay with such nonsense. This is real life, not a fairytale. Real life comes with pitfalls and storm clouds and bumps in the road when we least expect them. Trying to pretend they aren't there or, worse, to hide such realities from someone can be far more dangerous than anyone could realize. But Stefan refuses to see that simple fact." Elena shakes her head viciously. "You were asking if I had an idea of what I wanted in my significant other. And I just keep ranting about Stefan's faults."

"Well, that apparently means that the kind of man you're looking for would be my brother's complete opposite," Damon points out wryly.

Elena frowns. "Not _complete_ opposite," she admits. "Stefan portrays many traits I _don't_ want in the man I will spend my life with. But there are a _few_ of his traits that are good and I'd like to see in the man I give my whole heart to. Loyalty, for one. But, unlike in Stefan, I want to be forced to _earn_ the loyalty of the man I will spend my life with. I don't want it to be just _handed over_ on a golden platter. In my opinion, the loyalty that is hardest-earned is also the loyalty that runs deepest."

"And that means what, exactly?" Damon asks.

"Well, the harder it is to earn someone's complete loyalty, the less likely they are to take it back. Not that I think Stefan will take his loyalty to me back! But, really, having someone being completely loyal to you is a priceless treasure that I feel should be earned over time and through many trials. That way, you can prove to that person that you honestly _deserve_ their loyalty. My mother was always ranting about the topic when we watched movies. She would always complain about the person who just handed their loyalty over to someone without making that person prove that they deserve it. And she was always right that in the end, the person who just gave their loyalty almost never gave it to the right person. On the rare occasion that they _did_ give their loyalty to the right person, they never gave it for the right reasons and were inadvertently used as the weak point in Team Good that they were. No, you have to fight hard to prove to someone that you deserve their loyalty. Those who choose to give their loyalty to someone only _after_ it has been hard-earned fight the fiercest to protect that someone. They may not always be the strongest fighter, or the bravest, or even the most skilled, but in the end, it is the one whose loyalty is earned through hard work and many trials that inevitably has just the right resources available to them for Team Good to win. It's been true in every book I've read, every movie I've watched, and I've even seen examples of it in real life. Someone's loyalty must be earned, and the harder it is to earn their loyalty, the less of a weakness they will be in the end."

"Any other traits you want to see in the guy you will spend your life with?" Damon asks.

"I want him to listen to my opinions and decisions. Should he think that my decisions are not the best course of action, I want him to explain to me just _why_ he thinks that and work with me to come up with a compromise we are both satisfied with. And if, in the end, we _can't_ agree on a compromise, I want to know that he _will_ have my back in whatever I decide to do and _will_ risk life and limb to save my ass when his opinion is proven valid," Elena replies. "I want him to know in his heart that I'm not perfect, that I will never _be_ perfect, and _accept_ that about me. I want him to know that sometimes I need to take a fall to learn just how foolhardy I'm being and know that I can handle the bumps and bruises I suffer from such a fall. I want him to be all-too-willing to take me down a peg or two when I get full of myself but also to do so in such a way that I know that he's just looking out for me. I want him to know and _accept_ that I will do the same damn thing to him should he need it. As I said earlier, I place a high value on honesty. But even I know that there are times when it's better to be diplomatic and give only part of the truth rather than tell all. But, in spite of that, I want the man I give my heart to, to know that I will expect to be filled in completely at the soonest possible point. After all, if ever I had to use that kind of diplomacy with him, I would make damn sure that I explained everything at the first point it can be done safely. And, though I _will_ accept that it _is_ natural for a man to take note of a beautiful woman should he see one, I want to be able to know in my heart that while his eyes may wander on occasion, his body never will. Another thing my mom drilled into mine and Jeremy's heads is that trust is the most important part of a positive relationship. Her favorite saying was 'Trust for Trust'. That means to be able to give your trust fully to someone you have to be able to receive it just as fully in return. When I discovered that Jeremy had read my diary to find out the truth of what happened to Vicky, he threw that saying in my face. He reminded me that 'Trust for Trust' works both ways. I couldn't trust him with the knowledge of the truth of this world, and he couldn't trust me to tell him the truth. It was a hard blow to receive. But it was also one I deserved to get. I had no right asking you to meddle with his memories without his permission. I knew it even then but I did my best to tell myself that it was for a good cause. But I was lying to myself and I knew it. I did tell him a few weeks ago that you _might_ be able to return the memories to him. But he had already talked to Stefan about that night and told me he'd rather _not_ remember just how close he came to watching me be killed by his psychopathic vampire girlfriend, though he did appreciate my attempt to make things right between us. But he told me that I should keep Mom's saying in my mind from then on, just so that such a betrayal of trust isn't repeated. And he wasn't talking just about my relationship with him. He wouldn't tell me what other relationship of mine he was referring to. I wasn't going to push him, though. It was the first time he talked so openly and freely with me since before he read my journal. But Jeremy's right. Mom was right, too. Trust is quite likely the most important thing in making any relationship a positive one. Above all the other qualities I told you, I want to be able to _trust_ the man I will spend my life with undisputedly, knowing that he can and does place the same amount of trust in me." She's silent for a moment. "But there is _one_ other thing I want to see in the man I spend my life with," she admits.

"What's that?"

"I want the same kind of relationship with him that I have with you, Damon. I want to be able to talk openly and freely about any topic under the sun with him and not worry if it would be too embarrassing for one or both of us. And I want him to be among my closest friends. But, before you can begin to worry, I'll promise you this much," Elena says. "I promise that I won't let _anyone_ get in the way of our friendship. What you and I have is special and unique. I don't want to lose it just because I happen to fall in love."

Damon fights back a grimace when she mentions falling in love in such a way that the 'with someone else' is so obvious that she doesn't need to say the words. When he's back in control of himself, he smirks at her. "Do you _honestly_ think I'd _let_ anyone get in the way of our friendship?" he asks wryly.

"No, but I'm letting you know that I won't let it happen, either," she replies. She lifts her head from his shoulder and pulls out of his embrace so that she can check on how dry her shirt is. "Well, your jacket's gonna be pretty damn wet on the inside," she says regretfully, peeling the wet leather of her skin. "Sorry about that," she adds, passing the jacket back to him.

"Don't worry about it," Damon assures her, draping his jacket over his arm. "I gave it to you when I _knew_ you were soaking wet. Now, we should get moving. While being _among_ the last to leave one of these parties is what all the popular kids try to achieve, being _the_ last to leave is decidedly _unpopular._ And I really don't feel like getting cast in with the loser crowd. With just the cleanup committee left, we need to scram _now_ or it'll be all over town that we were the last ones to leave this party."

Elena looks around in surprise. While she had been sharing the traits her dream guy would embody with Damon, the bonfire had been allowed to die down and most of the partiers have already vacated the clearing. Those that are left are the unfortunate teens who had been shanghaied into being the cleanup crew. Damon gets to his feet and holds out a hand to her. She obediently puts her hand in his and allows him to help her to her feet. He then wraps an arm around her shoulder and guides her out of the clearing in the direction of where he had parked his Camaro.

"Wait, where's Jeremy?" Elena asks, pausing halfway between the clearing and Damon's car.

"Before I went to greet you as you got off that stage, the kid told me he'd catch a ride home with one of his friends. Didn't quite catch the name, didn't really care because he wasn't part of our crew, and told him that if he wasn't home by the time you got there, I'd be hearing about it from you and _he_ would be hearing about it from _me_," Damon replies, tugging at her shoulders with enough force to get her walking again. Elena sighs and obediently allows Damon to escort her the rest of the way to his car.

Neither of them notice the shadow in the trees behind them. Stefan sighs. All that careful choreography and Elena and Damon are no closer to getting together than they had been at the start of the night. He sets his shoulders. He had been listening in as Elena had explained the qualities she wanted in the man she would spend her life with and even he recognized that every quality she listed was one his brother has portrayed since falling victim to her influence. And, by the look of amusement Daman had been struggling to keep off his face, Stefan knows he's not the only one to realize that his ex might as well have been saying that it was _Damon_ she wanted to spend her life with. The only one seemingly oblivious to it was Elena. And considering her implied notion of falling in love with someone _other_ than Damon, she quite likely _was_ oblivious to the fact that she had been describing Damon perfectly when she listed those traits.

Stefan shakes his head and pulls out his phone to let everyone know by way of a text message that their mission to get the two together will have to continue. He will wait to tell them about the traits in Elena's dream man lining up perfectly with the ones Damon portrays now until they can all get together again and figure out what to do next and _when._ As soon as the text is sent, he takes off through the woods at top speed in the direction of the boarding house. As far as _Damon_ knows, Stefan had spent the night brooding over Elena's refusal to take him back. And if Stefan's not there when Damon gets _home_ … well, that's just not going to happen.

* * *

Sarah: even though I _am_ the authoress, I'm feeling sympathetic for Damon's plight in this chapter. I mean, the girl he loves tells him that the traits she's looking for in her dream man are pretty much every trait _he_ has now but then she turns around and turns it into a case of "I want my dream man to possess all the positive traits you possess but, I'm sorry, he won't be you. Don't worry, though, I won't let him get in the way of my friendship with you." I mean, come _on,_ Elena. Jamming a stake into him would have probably hurt him a helluva a lot less. But, I have to share a secret with you guys before you spew hatred from your mouths: this is just a case of a girl spewing her thoughts to her closest and dearest friend while completely forgetting that said closest and dearest friend is a _guy_ that not only is in love with her, but she might very well be _thinking_ about him as she dictates her thoughts. I probably _won't_ reveal where her mind had wandered off to during that timeframe. But I assure you, she _will_ realize _exactly_ both what she said to him and how she probably made him feel in saying all that as soon as she starts writing about it in her journal. But, be warned, next chapter picks up nearly a week later and you'll find out precisely how Elena deals with the realization that she had opened her mouth and inserted her whole damn leg in this chapter. So, please don't leave me! There is more to come, so much more, and I _promise_ you, things _will_ start to improve between our reluctant lovebirds.


	3. Frustration

Trial + Error = Love  
DG32173

Sarah: here's chapter 3! Started the very same day I started and completed chapters 1 and 2. I hope everyone enjoys what I have in store for you guys!

_**REVIEW REPLIES**_

_jairem:_ in regards to your review of chapter 1, I agree that it _would_ have been nice if Stefan had been so mature so early in the series. As for your review of chapter 2, as I said in the closing note, I'm sympathizing with Damon's plight for having to go through getting his hopes built up only to have them obliterated in the end. Not that he's going to give up on making her realize that _he_ could very well be the guy she dreams of being with forever. And while I won't detail in this chapter what Elena had _thought_ when she realized what she had let slip to Damon, I _will_ show you what she chose to do about how she had opened her mouth and stuffed her whole leg in it. I do hope you enjoy what I have planned for this chapter.

_JMHUW:_ I will use _any_ excuse to do some Stefan-bashing. Here's the next chapter.

_zikae218:_ if you were trying to say Elena needs to get a clue, I agree completely. She might as well have said that Damon could very well be her dream guy. But then she went and crushed his hopes by pretty much saying that while her dream guy embodies all his good traits, Damon himself is trapped in the 'just friends' category. But don't worry, I won't let things between them stagnate

* * *

Chapter 3  
Frustration

Damon groans as he sinks down on his usual barstool in The Grill and orders his usual glass of bourbon on the rocks. Alaric looks up from the stool next to him. "What's wrong with you?" the teacher asks mildly.

Damon briefly debates whether he _really_ wants to share his problem with the guy who's dating the _aunt_ of said problem. Then he shrugs, deciding that this is what drinking buddies are for, after all. "It's Elena," he sighs. "I think she's avoiding me again."

"You didn't snap Jeremy's neck again, did you?" Rick asks shrewdly. Given the raven-haired vampire's temper, anything's likely.

"No!" Damon snaps. "I've done nothing more than ruin a five-hundred dollar designer jacket by letting her wear it at the bonfire last Friday because she had been shanghaied into being one of the wet t-shirt contestants by Vampire Barbie. I then politely let her go on and on about the traits she wanted in the man she'd spend her life with, not _once_ voicing the fact that every single one of the traits she listed just-so-happens to be a trait I find myself in possession of now that she's clawed my humanity out of the dark closet I locked it in decades ago."

"I don't know that much about how a woman's mind works, but I _think_ you just hit the nail on the head of why she would be avoiding you," Rick points out, wickedly amused. While he's not an active participant, he knows what the group is up to in concern with Elena and Damon.

"By all means, share the knowledge!" Damon invites sarcastically.

"You just said that the traits she said she wanted in her dream man happen to be traits you are in possession of," Rick points out. "Now, with what I _do_ know about women, they normally wouldn't think anything of blabbing such a thing to their best and closest friend. But in the normal way of things, that best and closest friend happens to be another woman who is like a sister to her. You are a guy, for one thing. For another, she probably wasn't really thinking when she was describing what she was seeking in her dream guy. But, knowing Elena, she probably wrote it all down in her journal that night. Some journal keepers write word-for-word what was said, by whom, and to who. I don't know if Elena's like that or not. But as she was writing about her day, she probably realized exactly what she let slip to you."

"Yeah, and?" Damon asks, not getting the point.

"Well, if those traits she confessed to you she dreams of finding in a man are also traits you possess and she _realized_ that as she wrote in her journal, she'd probably have been mortified about it. Hence the avoidance. When girls are extremely embarrassed about something they did or said around someone, then they tend to avoid said person like the plague," Rick explains. Comprehension dawns over Damon's face. "And until something happens to either ease the embarrassment or else outshine it, the avoidance issue is going to persist."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Damon demands. "She lets voicemail pick up when I call, she doesn't respond to my texts, her window is shut and locked for the first time since I don't know when, and when I _do_ go to the front door, either Jenna says she's not there, which I know damn well is a lie, Jeremy says he's been told to say she's unavailable, or, should she be home alone, she pretends that the whole house is empty even though I can see her car in the drive _and_ I can hear her heartbeat and breathing up in her room! If it weren't for the fact that I don't have a damn good reason to do so, I'd pick the lock on her window and confront her about this."

"Well, you could always try to get her girlfriends to talk some sense into her," Rick suggests. "On this kind of thing, girls assume we guys know nothing and are completely useless. And, to be perfectly honest, most of us _are_ clueless on how to make a woman who's thoroughly embarrassed herself see that it's by no means the end of the world. Besides, after the Masquerade, Bonnie and Caroline seem to have a much kinder view of you in regards to your relationship with Elena. They just might be willing to help you out if for no other reason but to get Elena to stop making herself miserable."

Suddenly, two familiar voices walk through the door of the bar. "Well, the worst they can do is tell me go to hell," Damon sighs, finishing his glass of bourbon. "No time like the present," he continues, pushing himself to his feet.

He strides through the crowded tables to the one the two girls had taken over. He slides in next to Caroline without asking for an invitation. "Damon, what are you doing?" Caroline demands.

"I have something I need to discuss with the two of you and if I slid in next to _her,_ I risk getting a magical migraine just for close proximity," he points out.

"What is it you need to talk about?" Bonnie sighs. The girls had been planning to spy on Damon without making it obvious that they were doing so, but neither had expected him to come right up to them and join in at their table.

"Elena's avoiding me," he says flatly.

"We've noticed," Caroline points out.

"Well, do you know _why?"_ he demands. "Last thing I checked, she had forgiven me for snapping her brother's neck. I even let one of my favorite jackets get ruined by water damage to keep the chill off at the party on Friday."

The girls exchange one of those looks that are utterly inscrutable to the male gender and is only understood by another woman. "Well, we were sworn to secrecy by the girl code," Bonnie says.

"But we _might_ be able to talk her around for you," Caroline adds slowly.

Damon groans, knowing by those two sentences that they want a favor from him in return for doing such a favor _for_ him. "What do you want from me?" he asks.

The girls exchange another of those mysterious 'women only' looks, but this time they're both wearing small smiles. Damon would be worried if it weren't for the fact that those smiles are more relieved than anything else. "We'll try to talk her around on one condition," Bonnie says.

"And that would be?" Damon inquires, trying his damnedest to keep his patience in check. But he is dealing with two of those unknowable, incongruous creatures known as women. Even worse, these two are of the highly hormonal caste in that society known as _teenaged girls._ Damon's beginning to wonder just what the hell he did to deserve this. Then he remembers that his vampire life was black with sin before Elena appeared in it. Now he's paying for all the rotten things he has done over the years.

"Well, it's simple really," Caroline says.

And 'simple' as defined by a woman is a helluva a lot more complex than any mere man would begin to consider. Which is how Damon finds himself doing strange little errands for the two girls for the remainder of the afternoon and well into the evening. And when those errands _finally_ come to an end, he reluctantly presents himself on the front porch of the house that once belonged to Sheila Bennett and now belongs to her granddaughter. If it weren't for the fact that he has actually spent a good deal of his time in the company of various witches over the years, he'd simply think the girls were going to make a really strange and unusual salad for dinner. Unfortunately, Damon _had_ spent countless hours in the company of witches and warlocks in his quest to find a way to open the tomb that Katherine had never been in until just recently. And in those countless hours, he has come to recognize a wide variety of plants that have potent magical properties. And he has also learned a very great deal about the uses for each and every one of those plants. So he can't even try to fool himself into thinking the girls want to make a salad with the leaves, barks, roots, and mushrooms carefully separated into plastic baggies labeled with his own neat script in the duffel bag hanging from his hand. He mentally runs over a checklist of the plants the girls had him either buy from the store or harvest from the woods. As the primary family of spells and potions these particular specimens are used most regularly in becomes apparent, Damon grimaces.

Not wanting to even begin to consider why the witch would want flora used primarily in love spells, Damon rings the doorbell again and, for good measure, bangs on the door with his fist. If he _could,_ he'd barge in there, deposit the duffle bag on a table or chair, and make haste with his retreat. But there are three _big_ reasons that he can't do just that. First, he had given his word that he would help them with whatever they were going to do this afternoon and evening. He has never gone back on his word before. And as tempting as realizing that the girls plan to meddle with love magic makes breaking his word for the first time, there is still the matter of the other two reasons. The second reason he can't leave the stuff inside and get as far away as possible is because they had promised that in return for his help, they would try to talk some sense into Elena and make her realize that she can't avoid him for the rest of her life. That alone would be worthy of putting himself through any number of ordeals. Even if it _weren't_ one of the reasons he's stuck on this porch waiting to be let in, there is still the matter of the face that he had _never_ been invited into the home of any member of the Bennett family. So he can't slip in, leave the bag of magic supplies, and make haste with the retreat because the stupid force field thing on privately owned homes won't _let_ him in. He has to wait for Bonnie to open the door and verbally invite him in.

And he knows _damn_ well that both girls are in there doing _something._ He can hear them moving about and the sound of a marker writing on a whiteboard every so often followed by the erasing of said whiteboard. Apparently, whatever it is they plan on cooking up; they don't want _him_ to know the full details of. Which sets him on alert that they are planning some mischief with whatever it is they're going to do with these magical ingredients. With a growl, he bangs on the door. "C'mon, witch, I _know_ you and Vampire Barbie are both in there. I've fulfilled my end of the bargain and brought your stuff, so it's time for you two to hold up your end!" he shouts.

He hears two sighs. "Get in here, Damon, and be careful where you step!" Bonnie snaps.

Damon doesn't bother replying that he's a _vampire,_ thank you, he's instinctively careful about where he puts his foot down. As soon as he opens the front door, he realizes it's a good thing he kept that comment to himself. The living room furniture had been moved out into the front hall and he has to pull off some spectacular contortions to get past it into the living room itself. And even there, he has to take additional care in foot placement because the cleared floor had been swept and mopped to within an inch of its life and he's guessing that as soon as it started drying, the witch had started using white chalk to mark down the intricate and expansive wiccan diagram that covers nearly every inch of floor space and even trails a good foot up the walls.

The only 'safe' area to stand comfortably is in the precise center of the diagram, which is a circle of plain hardwood floor spanning exactly five feet in diameter. This is where the girls are. Bonnie is seated cross-legged in the exact center of that circle with an unlit red candle on either side of her. The candles were carefully chosen to be as closely matched as a chandler can possible make them. In her lap is an all-too-familiar book: Emily's grimiore. And standing behind her as still as only a vampire can is Caroline. In front of the witch is the kind of brazier Damon hasn't laid eyes on since he had been human.

He passes the bag of supplies they had him gather over to Caroline, knowing better than to just drop it down on a floor marked with a Wiccan diagram. "Okay, so here's my end of our bargain," he says. "Now, about _your_ end."

"We aren't _quite_ done with you, Damon," Bonnie says, not looking up from the grimiore in her lap.

"Don't even _think_ about asking me to take part in some witchy spell, particularly not the kind that _those_ supplies signal you're planning on casting. I am _not_ going to take part in any love spells," he snaps.

"I just want a single strand of your hair," Bonnie grits out.

"Do you think I'm an idiot that doesn't have an idea of what a witch can do with just a single strand of someone's hair and the magic she wields?" he exclaims. "In case you have already forgotten, I wasted nearly a century and a half doing my damnedest to get into a tomb because I was chasing a lie. In that time I consulted countless witches and warlocks, including a good portion of your lineage, little witch, and have had to help them cast more spells than you can even hope of learning in return for what little knowledge they had on the matter. And many of those spells required only a single strand of someone's hair. I'm supposed to trust _you_ with that kind of power over me? You don't even _like_ me! Forget this! I'll figure out how to get Elena to talk on my own!" Damon turns on his heel and attempts to begin making his way back out of the diagram. Attempts to, because as soon as he hits the edge of the circle, he runs straight into an invisible wall. He grinds his teeth, keeping his back to the witch. "Let me out, witch. You know as well as I do that I have to give you that hair of my own will for it to be of any use in any witch mojo. I can't be coerced or in any other way forced to part with it because the hair has to be given away freely and without any outside forces _making_ me give it away. So even if you went with the magic and gave me another of those migraines you so love dishing out, it would still nullify any magical property the hair might have."

Bonnie sighs, and Damon's startled to realize it's a sigh of tiredness rather than one of anger. "As much as you and I don't get along, do you honestly think I would be so cold-blooded as to use a strand of your hair to cast a spell to in anyway harm you when I know full well that putting you through a painful experience subsequently puts Elena through an agonizing one?" she asks softly.

Damon frowns and slowly turns to face the girls. "What are you saying?" he asks.

"As much as I don't like it, Elena has put your safety on the same level of her priorities as the safety of her own family. Having her bodily ram into me when I had been lashing out at you for Caroline's transition into a vampire drilled that into me. She _knew_ that I could so easily have turned the spell on her in my haze of fury and by the time I realized what I had done, she'd have been dead. But she didn't care. She risked her life as she has time and again to make sure nothing happened to you. You _saw_ what happened to her when she thought you really had killed her brother in a fit of pique." Damon winces. "She would go through precisely the same anguish and grief if anything happened to take you out of her life. It might even be worse for all we know. She's the only one who knows precisely how important you are to her. She and I are like sisters. We tell each other everything. During those weeks she spent avoiding you after what you did to Jeremy, she came to me more times than I can even begin counting and cried on my shoulder for hours because hating you like she did was also tearing her apart inside. She couldn't stand being apart from you, but she couldn't bring herself to forgive you because she was terrified of what kind of monster that would make _her_ for forgiving the guy who could so easily have murdered her brother just because his ex had messed with his mind and she had subsequently stomped on his heart."

"If she cares so much about me that avoiding me tears her apart, then why the hell is she avoiding me _now?"_ Damon demands.

The girls exchange another of those looks that no man can ever hope to understand. "She would kill us if we told you," Caroline says at last. "And as much as _we_ feel that you deserve to know, it really isn't our place to explain it. But we did give you our word that we'll try to talk some sense into her and we won't go back on it."

"So, just trust that I would never do anything to hurt Elena and that _includes_ hurting you. I might give you the occasional migraine if you cross me, but I won't do anything more than that," Bonnie says. "I can't tell you why I need your hair. But you should know, I happen to have a hair from everyone else in the know. And if I misplace the hair or something happens to it, then I simply ask for one to replace it. Hell, Elena went so far as to grab a pair of scissors and cut off an entire lock. When I told her I didn't need _that_ much, she pointed out that she has _always_ been prone to accidents and mishaps. She said that since you and Stefan entered her life, those accidents and mishaps now tend to have a bit more of an impact than the ones she had before. She informed me that she's giving me a lock of hair because with the way _her_ lucks been running; I'd be coming to her every day for another hair because I had to use the hair I got from her the day before to magically pull her out of trouble. And considering the fact that she's probably right, I accepted it."

Damon frowns as he contemplates what the girls have told him. "Give me your witch's oath that you won't try to harm me in any way using any strands of hair I give you," he finally tells the witch, locking eyes with her. "I'm not going to trust you without it. After all, anything is possible in a fit of blind rage. I know that. You know that. But a witch's oath will make _sure_ you won't be able to try anything against me, no matter _how_ angry you get with me."

Bonnie doesn't even think about it. She knows that in order to pull of the spell the others had talked her into trying; she will _need_ a hair from Damon and a hair from Elena that had to have been given freely by their owners. She can't tell Damon what she intends on doing with the hair, because he would _never_ agree to hand one over if he knew. But he will never agree to hand one over unless he had a way of knowing for sure that she wouldn't be able to use any hair he gave her as a means for tormenting him. "I, Bonnie Bennett, granddaughter of Sheila Bennett and descendant of Emily Bennett, hereby give my witch's oath to Damon Salvatore that I will never use any hair he gives me as a means to cause harm of any form to him," Bonnie says softly, her magic swirling around her briefly as the spell is cast that binds her to her word. Then her magic fades away. "There, I gave you my witch's oath," she says. "You no longer have any reason to deny my request and you should know that I can very easily keep the spell that traps you in this circle going indefinitely. I don't even have to consciously think about it and it only requires a minute portion of my magic. Sure, there are probably an infinite number of ways to break the spell keeping you here, but do you _really_ want to be trapped in this circle while you come up with one that will successfully get you out?"

Damon grimaces. He had not expected the witch to give in so easily. And he knows she's right on both counts. Such a simple barrier spell requires almost no magic to keep going and the only actual thinking that needs to be done is that which summons it and banishes it again. She's right in that there are countless ways to work around such a simple spell, but they would all take time that he doesn't feel like wasting trapped in a five foot circle. "You are damned determined to get your hands on one of my hairs," he growls. "Fine, I'll give you _one._ But if you use it in some sort of _love spell,_ you had better pray to whatever it is you worship for peace in the afterlife because I will hunt you down and rip you apart for it. And I'll even _let_ Elena hate me for doing so. Don't cross me, witch, because if I have enough motivation, I can block out the pain even your magical migraines put me through to do what I feel needs to be done. You better be damned grateful I haven't had enough motivation before or you wouldn't be breathing right now."

With that grim warning, Damon reaches up and carefully plucks a single hair from his scalp and holds it out. When it becomes apparent that Damon will not move a step closer to them to hand it over, Caroline cautiously approaches to accept the hair on Bonnie's behalf. When she has it safely clasped between her fingers, Damon turns on his heel without another word and makes his way out of the house. After all, the warning about his capabilities and the promise of retribution is enough to make anyone think twice about crossing him. And even Caroline and Bonnie are having serious doubts about how smart this idea had seemed. To their knowledge, Damon has never lied or even exaggerated about his capabilities as a vampire. There is no reason for him to do so just so that they'd think long and hard before using the hair he had handed over in a way that he would not appreciate in the least. That he had known what the supplies they had sent him to fetch are most commonly used for in witchcraft had been both surprising and disconcerting. Even Bonnie had forgotten that Damon had once been deadset on opening the tomb no matter who got in his way, even though the opening of the tomb and the lifting of the seal had cost her grandmother her life. Over the past few months, Damon's become completely and utterly devoted to Elena and the knowledge that same kind of devotion had once been given to a much less deserving party had slipped all their minds. And in forgetting that fact, they had also forgotten that Damon had spent decades hunting down every possible clue that could lead to the opening of the tomb Katherine had never been in. In tracking down a way to break a witch's spell he would have had to consult countless witches and warlocks. And since the fact that witches and warlocks are used by nature as a means to balance the supernatural aspect of the world with the natural ensures that they can't be coerced by supernatural means. Because of this, Damon would have been forced to cultivate favor with the witches and warlocks he sought to consult about his own problem.

The girls hadn't stopped to think that with all the time Damon had spent getting on the good side of countless witches and warlocks, he had to have learned at least a few things about the capabilities of the Wiccan race in general as well as the things they use in their spells and potions. They hadn't stopped to think that Damon just might have the knowledge to not only _recognize_ the things they needed for the spell Bonnie is going to cast but also the knowledge of what uses a witch would make of that specific combination of things.

Bonnie and Caroline exchange nervous looks. Damon made it perfectly clear before he left that if he found out that they used the strand of hair he had given them in any form of love magic, he will not hesitate to enact swift, _painful_ vengeance. "This could easily blow up in all our faces," Bonnie murmurs.

"Should we stop before we reach the point of no return?" Caroline asks.

Bonnie sighs. "Unfortunately, that point had passed us by when we started chalking out the diagram," she replies. "Magical diagrams are not only the starting point of a spell; they are actually a huge part of the spell. As one is drawn out, the witch who will use it infuses a portion of her magic into each and every mark. The bigger the diagram, the more power goes into it to prepare it for being the launching point of the spell. And once I started putting my magic into the diagram as we marked it out, there was no way we could just wash up the chalk dust and move on with our lives. The chalk is actually just a blueprint for how I need to lay my magic down for the spell. Even if we cleaned up all the chalk, the magical diagram will _still_ be in place. Most people just wouldn't be able to see it. If I don't cast the spell the diagram was created for, the magical framework I laid down will start drawing in what witches call _natural_ magic. That is the residual magic that seeps off of every living thing. And even you vampires leave a fine mist of magic wherever you go because it is magic that is keeping you moving and looking like ordinary people. When you feed, it's actually _not_ the blood that you drink that keeps you from desiccating, it's the magical spark of life in the blood that does so. When denied blood of any sort, it's not the lack of blood itself that causes you to become spirits trapped within mummified bodies, it's the lack of that magical spark of life that you lost the ability to produce yourselves in that crucial second step to becoming a vampire, the step where you have to _die._ Spilling blood taints the spark residing in the spilt blood by releasing the most important part of the magic that resides in all living things, the magic of life itself. But the reason you vampires can still survive on the blood you feed on is because the part of the spark that kept the former owner of the blood moving around is still there." Bonnie grimaces. "I'm getting off topic. Anyways, every living thing has a fine mist of natural magic seeping out of it. Once I put my magic into building the framework that the chalked diagram was a blueprint for, that magic left me. But that little bit of magic can't support the framework for very long by itself. So it does something that's like sending up a distress beacon. The natural magic floating around comes rushing to help. The longer the framework is in place, the brighter that distress beacon, the more natural magic comes rushing in. The problem with that is, after a little while, there becomes a surplus of magic. But that distress beacon doesn't realize this so it keeps getting brighter and more insistent, and more and more magic comes rushing in. If the framework is in place for _too_ long, then you start to have a problem. All that residual magic is building up in one place. The world can't handle that much magic in one place for long. That's why when a witch has to cast a spell she intends to leave in place for a long time, she ties a part of that spell to a powerful cosmic event that is taking place in the same relative time frame. Eclipses, a certain aligning of certain celestial bodies, or, like with the spell that Emily used to seal that tomb full of vampires, even comets. In tying the spell in with a cosmic event that's occurring in the same relative timeframe, that cosmic event is essentially handed the key to the spell, which is what most of the magic in the framework is used as. With so much of the framework to the spell essentially handed over to the cosmic event, the distress beacon I mentioned earlier doesn't need to be sent up because the natural magic that pools in the small area where the remainder of the framework is, is more than enough to support it. The downside of tying a spell in with a cosmic event is that it _also_ limits the effectiveness of the spell in the times when the cosmic event is not taking place. And if the spell is tied to the cosmic event like Emily's spell was tied to the comet, then the effect is locked in place until the next time the cosmic event occurs. And when the cosmic event comes around again, there is going to be hell to pay because the sudden return of the main part of the framework for the spell will be like sending off magical fireworks that, although they can't be scene, can certainly be _felt_ even by humans."

Caroline sighs. "Bonnie, what does this have to do with what we're doing _now?"_ she asks in the all-too-patient way of someone who wants the speaker to get to the point _now._

Bonnie sighs. "Basically, if we quit now, the magical framework will still be in place even after we've cleaned everything up. It will start calling in the natural magic for miles around and once there's enough magic in this room to support the framework, the surplus will pretty much start turning us into nice juicy bait for every supernatural entity that is capable of sensing the pooling of magic and comes within range of being able to sense it. And that bait will just become juicier and juicier as time passes, calling in all manner of creatures and many of them are of a variety that not even _Katherine_ would be able to handle on her own. And considering even _all_ of us pooling our resources together couldn't even outwit _Katherine,_ I _highly_ doubt that we'll be able to handle _those_ unwanted guests."

"Oh," Caroline says, understanding dawning on her face. "Why didn't you just say so in the first place?"

Bonnie sighs again, telling herself she has _got_ to remember to keep her explanations as short and to-the-point as possible when dealing with Caroline. Even now that she's a vampire; the blonde is _still_ a bit of an airhead. "Anyways, let's get on with this. The picture Damon painted of his retribution should he find out we are up to what he warned us not to be up to is too damn ugly to contemplate and I want to get this over with so we can clean everything up and pretend this never happened."

With that, she carefully instructs Caroline on how the supplies Damon brought them are to be laid on the brazier in front of her and in what order. She then drills Caroline incessantly on those instructions until both of them are sure the blonde will be reciting those instructions in her sleep tonight and actually be reciting them correctly. Once Caroline has her role down, the girls begin the ritual. And, unfortunately, it is far too late to stop when Bonnie comes to a part of the spell that had suffered water damage. She does her best to translate the mess, not even able to take the time to send up a prayer for help in that much.

When the ritual is finally complete, both girls are exhausted. But they can't call it a night just yet; they still have to clean everything up. It's long past midnight when they finally fall into the sleeping bags they had brought with them. According to Emily's grimiore, the spell will take effect at first light. Bonnie has just enough energy left to send up a prayer that they hadn't screwed it up. But she's asleep before she has a chance to remember that the Wiccan god she had sent the prayer to was actually the trickster god. And he is _just_ the type to take what would ordinarily be a minor mistake and make it into a fiasco of unbelievable proportions.

* * *

Sarah: uh-oh … trouble's brewing and now the Wiccan trickster god is going to stick his nose into things. And for those of you who _are_ Wiccan, please forgive me if there is no trickster god as such in your faith. I truly needed a reason for why things are about to take the road of unbelievable, not to mention hilarious, proportions. Everyone, I'd be immensely happy if you left me a review and told me what you think of the story so far! Also, as of next chapter, the rating is going to jump to M, so get prepared.


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